I've been thinking.....

yellow flowers, yellow skirt

you know, i've been thinking quite a lot about my blog lately. i've been contemplating about deleting it. like, forever. never posting again.
and no, i am not april fooling you or tricking you. i've actually thought about it. a lot.
my reasons? well, i've been slightly addicted to blogging. and an addiction is an unhealthy thing. sometimes it's the only  thing that i can think about, the only thing that occupies my mind. i feel as if it eats away at who i really am inside. i don't want to blog 24/7, and i certainly don't want to think about it 24/7. i just want to be me.
if you have noticed, i've been blogging less than i used to. and i'm very happy about that.
when i started out blogging (and sometimes still do), i would obsess over my blog. over every trivial little thing. is my blog header good enough? does my writing style sound too boring? how can i get more followers? why don't i have more followers? what will my next blog post be about? should i be posting everyday? blah, blah, blah, etc, etc, etc. ad nauseam.

i'm tired of all of it and i just want to start over. i don't want to be like that anymore.

so i'm making a resolution. as of now, i will not delete my blog.  i will merely post on it every now and then and forget about it. the way it is supposed to be. not an obsession. not a way of life. just a simple, creative outlet for my writing.

so for those of you who follow my blog, don't worry, i'm not deleting my blog. i've just been contemplating it. i  still plan on writing posts, just not as frequently as i used to.

i just want my life back. i don't want Blogger to take over my life.
that would be pathetic.

Comments

  1. Kate, i completely understand what you're saying and where you're coming from. it's really easy to get so wrapped up in all this that we forget the other things in life--the more important things. but your writing style is just that: yours. no one can fairly judge you or criticize you for the way you write.
    so sometimes we have to sit back and say "okay. i'm here why? to write about my life and to share what i love most with others. just because i enjoy doing that."
    you can't let yourself feel like you aren't good enough as a writer or as a person. you be you. and that's all anyone really wants to see anyway, a genuine heart sharing her genuine life.
    and you really can't let yourself get upset over not having many followers. sure it'd be really nice to be way up there with 400 followers, but that shouldn't be a priority when it comes to anything. :) and if you think about it, 25 people like your writing. they like the little windows you give them to see into your world; the pictures, the stories...it's all you. it's better to enjoy the followers you do have than to wish for more or to envy other bloggers...it only tears you up inside. i know how it is, trust me. :)

    and as for your design, you were one of the very first bloggers to allow me to tweak their blogs. i had very little experience and i only knew a handful of ways to update blogs. if you ever want something else done, something better, more you, more modern, prettier, whatever, just ask and i'll do my best :) i've learned a lot so your blog could include a lot more than it does now :)
    if you ever want to talk or if you just need some encouragement, shoot me an email sometime. i'll be there for you. :)

    -Sydney

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  2. Don't ever delete your blog! It's wonderful. I'll miss your posts, but you should always do what's right. It's great that you can see what the problem is, and it's even better that you'll do something about it. But I'll still miss your posts!

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  3. Haha. I've been there. I've never wanted to delete my blog or stop blogging but I always feel like I need to blog every piece of my life to get views and followers. I love it but it can overtake you sometimes. Don't delete it though!!

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