I Lost My Voice

I lost my voice. But not in the way that you may be thinking. I can still speak, but my creative voice is gone. Or maybe I have just forgotten how to use it. 

Ever since I graduated from college in 2018, I have felt that my writing has been lacking creativity, soul, or any unique style at all. Consequently, I haven't loved my writing and I've even told myself that I am not a great writer and that I have no written work worthy of sharing with the world (I see that I still have a knack for unintentional alliteration).

Only until recently, I realized that I haven't written much of anything that wasn't required of me. I also believe that some of my journalism classes somehow caused me to lose my creative style. (You would think that getting a degree in journalism would make me an overall better writer.) I'm not blaming my instructors or the degree I chose, but I think I was so focused on schoolwork and data, and succinct, fact-driven writing, that I slowly began losing that creative voice I once had. (Or I'd like to think I once had one.)

I feel a bit rusty at this whole "writing-for-myself" thing, but I honestly miss it. I miss expressing my thoughts and feelings through words and photos. I miss the writing community and the feedback I would get from other writers, bloggers, and readers. I loved the way that writing made me feel like I could make sense of my own mind.

I realize now more than ever, that I need a creative outlet. I need to find my voice again. Whether that be through painting, writing, poetry, graphic design, or music. I need to find something that I do just for me. I always feel amazing and alive when I create. I believe that humans were designed to create and that it's in our nature to want to make art, in some form or another.

I have been so critical of myself and such a perfectionist, that I don't even get started on a piece of writing. I also have the horrible habit of editing and deleting as I write. I become so focused on grammar and structure that my writing becomes very formal and bland. If anyone has any tips on how to kick this non-creative writing approach, please let me know.

I was ridiculous for telling myself that I wasn't a great writer because, like any skill, writing takes PRACTICE. I can't expect my writing to be any good if I haven't been writing. I know that I need to make time to hone my writing skills and to get my voice back. I will strive to be patient with myself through this process. Until then, I will keep writing even if what I write isn't any good. I am hoping that in doing so, I will find my creative voice and style of writing. It's been such a long time, I don't even know what that looks like anymore.

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If there are any readers out there, I welcome you and appreciate you taking the time to visit this little, random blog of mine. I apologize for the appearance and the layout - it's been a work in progress and I haven't decided on how I want it to look. I've wanted to switch over to Wordpress, but I have become so attached to this blog that I started back in 2011, that I can't bring myself to do so just yet.